Tacky Tuesdays presents... Tips for Tacky Tippers

In honor of our first edition of Tacky Tuesdays here at themeantwist.blogspot.com, we’re going to jump right into one of many topics that have inspired us to dedicate an entire day every week to the tacky shit that people do… ((we even have a tacky soundtrack to go along with it, so don't be shy.. press play!))



This edition of Tacky Tuesdays is dedicated to all of cheap ass party-goers who go to the club or the bar, usually asking for ‘strong’ drinks.. that habitually-time and time again- DO NOT TIP THEIR BARTENDER. Let me just take a moment to say- YOU CHEAP MUTHAFUCKAS!

For those of you unfamiliar with proper Bar Etiquette.. that is a big NO-NO.

If you have never worked in the service industry, where your tips make the majority of your pay.. then some of the following concepts may be alien to you.. BUT if you have worked in this industry.. then you will fully appreciate what is to come….(( No worries.. you can thank me later.))

Poppin’ bottles, pourin’ it on models, falling in love with bartenders, buying out the bar.. these are all nightlife concepts, turned trends by the ever growing popularity of modern hip-hop music… often, fueled by the shallow-mindedness of the need for excess-at-all-costs—even if it means the last dollar in your pocket to prove that you are ‘baller’ or a ‘diva’.

If you are one of those partygoers, who actually can afford the overpriced bottles, and the over-priced shots of Patron, etc. etc., and in turn, follow proper customer-code by tipping the bartender.. this does not apply to you.. HOWEVER..

LADIES!!!!... GENTLEMAN!!!

Here are a few tips for you, from your resident bartender

First of all-- there is nothing cool about spending your rent money or the child support you just got from your baby-daddy, or the money that SHOULD be going to child support-- at the club.

You see, once you get over the hangover that you are bound to wake up with the next day, roll over the stranger laying next to you, and come back to reality—your rent is still gonna be due, your baby is still gonna need some diapers, and all that frontin’ you were doing last nite.. is going to come back to haunt you, like a crazy stalker. So…

Tip #1 --> Not everyone can be a baller, so if your funds are small.. stop pretending to be a big spender.. Stick to the $10 drinks at the bar, (AND…shhhh!! BUT …if you throw in a couple bucks to the bartender.. you’ll likely get a better buzz for that $10).

Tip #2 --> Don’t complain to the bartender about the drinks being $10 (or whatever they cost). It’s pretty much common sense, to know that the bartenders don’t make the prices, therefore wasting your servers’ time, complaining about the price, is only further leading you to the need for the Tip #3.

It’s still a recession folks, so there is no shame in being fairly responsible with the little money you do have… but if you don’t have ANY money at all.. you really should reconsider being in a club or in the bar at all. Don’t be the lame asshole at the bar, slowly sipping on the melted ice left at the bottom of your cup, waiting for someone to buy you your next drink or begging the bartender (whom you haven’t even tipped $1 all nite) for a hook-up. It’s really not a good look.

Tip #3 --> If you can’t afford to drink at the bar (and tip) … then DON’T! Go to the liquor store, buy the discount $15 liter bottle of cheap vodka and STAY YOUR BROKE ASS HOME.

The next tip, doesn’t apply to those with the lighter pockets in the club, but tip is directed at the even bigger atrocity – which is the customer who insists on finding ways to flash their stack of cash all nite, but who STILL neglects to leave a measly tip for their bartender or waitress. IT JUST SCREAMS CHEAP!!!! I know.. it sounds crazy that someone with so much money in their pocket, would be so cheap as to not even leave a couple bucks for their server, even tho they gladly spent a couple hundred dollars on a bottle of champagne and demanded ‘VIP’ treatment.. but unfortunately.. these slime balls do exist.

Tip #4 --> Just because you are sitting in an area allocated as “V.I.P”, doesn’t mean you are really that important. Sorry. It just means, you paid the right price. So, for the next few hours that you spend convincing yourself you are a somebody—don’t worry.. YOU ARE! However—unless you own the spot, the common rule of TIPPING YOUR SERVER still applies.

And finally, of the many tips in proper nightlife etiquette that I could continue to offer you, I leave you with Tip #5. This goes out to all the women, and young lady party-goers and bar hoppers…

Tip #5 --> Just because you and the bartender both have titties, doesn’t mean you don’t have to tip. Cheap isn’t a good look on anyone, even if you have a nice smile and fat ass. Sorry boo.

So in conclusion.. the general lesson to be learned on this Tacky Tuesday is that, it is in fact, quite tacky to go to any restaurant, bar , or club and expect quality service from your server, whether it be a waitress, waiter or bartender—and not have the decency to leave a lil’ tip as a token of your appreciation. Afterall, we aren’t behind this counter for fun.. we are back here trying to make a living.. and if you take care of your bartender—your bartender WILL take care of you.

Happy Partying’!

P.S.- One more thing folks, for those of you that continue to ask for your Long Island Iced Teas to be made “STRONG”---> **NEWSFLASH** asshole --> A Long Island Iced Tea is 95-98% liquor.. mixed drinks don’t get any stronger.